Pre-Existing Conditions
After
they cut the cord
when his pink cheeks
fade to dusk-blue
they ask me
to flatten his fists
for the needle’s nip
lay my hands
on the cage of his heart
hold my breath
while counting his
and when the needle
fails
when his heart
flutters fast as a hummingbird’s wing
they teach me
to crush bags of ice
into his wide eyes & open mouth
and I do it
again & again
having loved him
even before
the ice, the needles
the fists, the cord.
Tracie Renee / TRACIE RENEE (she/her) is a librarian, a Publishers Weekly book reviewer, and a BOTN-nominated writer who lives and dreams in sort-of Chicago. Find her in Funicular Magazine, HAD, Orange Blossom Review, and at https://linktr.ee/tracie.renee.