the card i wrote a year ago and mailed yesterday
photo by Darrell Gulin hookipia beach, maui
what i meant to say is
this card has been pinned to numerous corkboards
for the last 30 + years while i endured
too many toxic work environments.
there were lovers, ex-husbands, my sons struggling with adulting.
& i meant to say
as a mum, i too was struggling
with weariness & simultaneous profound wonder.
perhaps i was untethered: old soul, new body
last tour of duty, so to speak.
i’m sorry if i abandoned anyone
especially those i loved – still love like still life
it was not my intention to let you free fall
there was/is a light mission, hence, this card
on numerous bulletin boards spiriting me on
at abortion clinics, informed decisions, power of choice,
protecting four year olds from mothers
who tell them how to kill themselves.
this card with its inverted funnel – solar rays breaching black clouds
at hookipia beach offering a corona at clouds’ edges
triangular apex to apex beaming its circular base on ocean’s face
while holding up the sky with the other – this eclipsed photo
a reminder of some distant realm called home.
extended lifetimes – humans think decades are long
try lightyears. tyndall scatter materializing into form
collective shape re-pixelating into acceptable
holographic images – in whose likeness?
open minds via open hearts – not to be vulnerable
to harsh human behaviors which can be horrific &
opened possibilities – memories never erased
from my laddering dna – scaffolding.
there really is a portal that apertures wide,
an astronomical iris out near cygnus
hung in the milky way’s north end.
i meant to tell you
home is always there. when travel gets lonely.
look to the stars – you feel me?
Suzanne S. Rancourt, Abenaki/Huron, Quebecois, Scottish descent, USMC/Army Veteran; author of the Native Writers’ Circle of the Americas First Book Award, Billboard in the Clouds, NU Press; 2023 Poetry of Modern Conflict Award murmurs at the gate, Unsolicited Press; Old Stones, New Roads MSR Pub.; Songs of Archilochus, Unsolicited Press, 2023. Expressive Arts Therapist, and Saratoga County Veteran Peer Mentor, she continues to teach writing, and travel.