Vanessa Y. Niu is a first generation Chinese-American spoken-word and page poet who lives in New York City. She has also written text for the modern composition scene at music institutions such as Juilliard and Interlochen.

In the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy They Use the Female Singular Pronoun When Defining Psychological Egoism, A Love Poem

I met a person who seems to understand me understand me when I say I still don’t quite know if this is what it really is, because there still seems to be some sort of one-sided psychological charity between my analysis of her and her possible analysis of me (though there has been no sign of it yet).

This is the feeling of (I don’t want to use the word excitement because it really isn’t because the feeling is only after I talk to her which might be dangerous because I hate to think it is my romanticisation of her rather than the objective truth)(god now the parentheses are taking over Delight or disgust? I should restart but there is no time does the psychological egoist suffer from the same dichotomy?)

So far I understand egoism must be based on the idea that the only true desire is selfish that any altruistic action is inherently false that when we listened to Pink Floyd together today in a corner of the public library it was good this is good loving her is good and if not for me, for her but oh god if not for me if I am seeking something destructive does it mean that I love the pain of impermanence?

There is more silence in the Pink Floyd song than most silences and I have listened to it so many times I think this is what I will hear when I die doesn’t she know I have never felt the desire to touch anyone before but the space between us seemed to get colder and colder with every second what can I do but want to quench this static?

I have stared at her collarbones for so long that I think I have perhaps uncovered some sort of unspoken touch, perhaps it is rather that all things altruistic self-impose paradox upon egoism; one pursues altruism because it brings one’s own welfare and/or satisfaction. The psychological egoist catches herself mid self-deception the psychological egoist finds herself wondering why we can’t hold hands over your cup of black coffee and her mug of black tea while we still can while the world is still commercial and we can pretend we’re not young nor dumb and that we’re wise and know this will end soon and know that Homer quote, that everything is lovely because everything will end. Or something like that