season 2 episode 3
eleven months later there is one / sticky unsupervised week at home one / unchanged sheet on the fold out bed downstairs and we / make bowls of barbecue sauce pasta / and get rug burn / and it’s even too hot in the garden / so i go and sit in the basement / put the skins box set on / choose the episode where sid’s dad dies / you know / the one where malcolm tucker off the thick of it cops it while smoking a cigarette / so when sid finds him in the morning it’s just a long thin frankfurter of ash between his fingers / and sid goes to the rave / stands alone in the crowd until tony finds him / and alice practice by crystal castles is playing / and sid tells tony what’s happened / that his dad’s dead / dead-dead / and you don’t hear what they’re saying you don’t hear anything at all just the song / wheels won’t turn / they won’t / and the bodies are pressed up all around / and tony stands like a pale stone / my hands are digging into his back so hard my knuckles hurt / i am clutching at him like he is made of smoke / and my face is a doughnut O / and tony holds me and holds me / and the room is shaded as a mausoleum / and i can feel your arms underneath me / we are somehow / going up the stairs and i remember / all the noises i made then / i remember your voice in my hair saying / i know / i know / i know
Billie Manning is a poet from London.